July 10, 2013Edit
But Seattle wasn't like a fable. Au contraire. Now Blackwell Academy seems more exotic to me than any other place in the world. To study photography under Mark Jefferson... SIGH. Insert hearts and flowers.
September 3, 2013Edit
So that wasn't fun along with my general social unease... I thought it would be easier being back. Call the waaahmbulance! I don't want this day to end all "Woe Is Max". It was incredible to walk across the green campus in the morning mist. I love the stone steps and brick walls of Blackwell. Everything is a picture waiting to be taken... Speaking of, at least one great thing did happen today: Mr. Jefferson's photography class. Sigh...
September 4, 2013 Edit
At least I get to research famous photographers for some of my homework. Mr. Jefferson assigned us a ton of reading, but this is exactly what I want to study. Jefferson is supercool and superchill.
September 23, 2013 Edit
Finally had the chance to take some actual shots around campus today. A perfect blue sky day. I always forget how great I feel after I take pictures when I've been slacking off. Speaking of pictures, Mr. Jefferson told us about the national "Everyday Heroes" photo contest he wants us all to enter.
The winner gets a trip to San Francisco and lots of publicity. He wants just one photograph from each student. This is exactly why I wanted to come to Blackwell and of course I'm scared shitless to enter. At least I have a couple weeks before the deadline in October. So I have plenty of time to stress and procrastinate. Sigh.
But I woke up in Mr. Jefferson's class and I wasn't even sleeping. I almost fell out of my chair. Jefferson called on me but I totally blew the answer. Of course Victoria pounced on me and made me look like a bigger idiot. She's so awful. Then I didn't have the guts to turn in a photo for the "Everyday Heroes" contest while Victoria did her usual suck-up to Jefferson. He's so cool and he clearly wants me to succeed.
Somehow I was able to actually rewind time.
I knew the only way to find out if I was having a breakdown was to go back to the bathroom and see if I could save that girl from Nathan this time. I had no idea how either. I just knew I couldn't live with myself if I let her die again. I escaped Jefferson this time by knowing exactly how to answer his questions and rushed to the bathroom.
Episode Two - "Out of Time" Edit
Something odd happened - as if EVERYTHING happened isn't bizarro - but I saw Kate having an intense conversation with Mr. Jefferson and she ended up practically running away from him in tears. I wish I could have casually asked, "Oh by the way, what's up with Kate?" (Like he would tell me anyway.) I know Kate treats Jefferson like he's an apostle or something... so what did he say to make her so upset?
Just when I was feeling good about Chloe and me, I walk into Jefferson's class and see Nathan and Victoria actually sitting on my desk. Unreal... Asshole bookends.
Kate Marsh almost killed herself.
My hands are still shaking, but I have to write this down while I can. Right at the start of Jefferson's class, Kate went to the roof of the girls' dorm to jump. Every student and teacher was watching her, like it was a Blackwell rooftop concert.
It's not enough that Kate is alive, and though I'm not enough of an egomaniac to take the credit, I still had to get the Blackwell third-degree from Principal Wells. It was bizarre to be in his tacky office with Nathan Prescott, David Madsen and Mr. Jefferson calmly talking about why Kate would attempt suicide. I was quiet but giddy inside, just replaying in my head the moment when Kate stepped toward me with a glimmer of hope in her eyes...
Kate Marsh killed herself.
My hands are still shaking, but I have to write this down while I can. Right at the start of Jefferson's class, Kate went to the roof of the girls' dorm to jump. Every student and teacher was watching her, like it was a Blackwell rooftop concert.It's not enough that Kate is dead and I'm numb inside, I had to get the Blackwell third-degree from Principal Wells. It was bizarre to be in his tacky office with Nathan Prescott, David Madsen and Mr. Jefferson calmly talking about why Kate jumped off the roof. Of course, I was in a quiet rage.
Still, I ended up telling the Principal that I saw Kate crying after she talked with Mr. Jefferson. I wasn't trying to blame him, I just thought it was important information.
Maybe I fucked up, narcing on the one person I respect the most at Blackwell... I could see Mr. Jefferson was disappointed in me too. The Principal was more upset, because he pulled Jefferson out from representing the school at the "Everyday Heroes" contest. I didn't expect that at all. I'm so confused right now... How can I keep going to Mr. Jefferson's class after I ruined his reputation?
And do I still have to give him a photo for the contest?
Episode Three - "Chaos Theory" Edit
So that's cool that I got Mr. Jefferson in trouble and he won't be representing Blackwell at the "Everyday Heroes" contest. I don't blame him for what happened to Kate... Yes, he should have listened to her. But it's not fair he can't attend the event. Now the winner has to hang out with Principal Wells. I hope Victoria wins. But one of my heroes probably hates me. Yay Max.
Even more so when we went to the front of the building and spied on Victoria talking smack about me (shocked!) and worse, actually trying to blackmail Mr. Jefferson to pick her photo for the "Everyday Heroes" contest. She is freaking unreal...
I give Mr. Jefferson major respect for telling her to get lost, even though she deserved to be expelled for pulling that crap. This is her priority after what happened with Kate? I just don't understand Victoria, no matter how I try. She's already rich, pretty, and a good photographer. Why try so hard and hurt so many to manipulate everything already in your favor?
So I must have set off Joyce's "nostalgia mode" since she busted out ye olde photo album. I'm one of the few people who loves checking out old pictures. What was that Alfred Hitchcock line about film being "pieces of time"? Like Mr. Jefferson said, so are photographs.
So after getting the inside info and assist from the other members of our team, Chloe and I made our way to the boys' dorm a.k.a. "Nathan's Lair." Chloe stood guard out in the hall and I stealthed my way into Nathan's room.
And even though I've become a master spy and detective, I still get surprised by things I see or find... like Nathan's sleek, expressionist bro cave. It was like walking from light to shadow in a single step. I swear, I could feel the temperature drop the second I walked in. But then, Nathan knows photography and he knows you have to keep the film and equipment chilled (I store my instant film hoard in Mr. Jefferson's classroom).
I watched Chloe die again.
Killed by my favorite teacher. Why?
Because we were stupid and let Jefferson trick us with a phony text.
So we ended up back at the junkyard, and fell right into his trap. We should have called the police the second we found Rachel, but I had gone along too far with Chloe. I keep thinking I'm invincible, that I'm a real everyday superhero... but no, I'm just Max Caulfield.
Then there's Mark Jefferson... I can't ever call him "mister" again.
I'm still shocked that he turned out to be one hiding behind the Dark Room, but if I think back on those "pieces of time," Jefferson has been dropping hints all along. It makes me sick to think how long he's been doing this for - and to whom.
The needle... I can still feel that needle on my skin. Thank God I can't remember Jefferson posing me for most of his sick session. Imagine all those other people who had to suffer through that horror... like Rachel and Kate. That made me determined to get out of that room, at least to stop him and save Chloe. I had to use my focus rewind on multiple photos so often that I even got confused.
Worse still, I knew I was screwing around with various realities again, but I had no other choice. Chloe would not die in a junkyard next to Rachel Amber. And there was no fucking way I was going to let Jefferson be the last person I ever saw. It's hard to even imagine myself that studio alone with Jefferson acting like that... Everything was so neat and sterile, but it felt like the filthiest place on Earth. If I didn't have this ability to bend time, what would I have done? What could I have done? Sometimes I felt removed, like I was looking at myself going through this hell. But thanks to Jefferson's class photo, he personally helped me to escape.
I also feel so terrible that Victoria had to end up in here with me, just because I warned her about Nathan. I should have known that she would rush to Jefferson for protection. Instead, he kidnapped her and almost murdered her... because of me.
I'll never forget the way Jefferson looked at me, so cold and mean... I felt like I was on one of those awful true-crime shows my mom binge-watches. How does somebody become evil? He actually shot Chloe in the head... just like that.
I wish the police had taken Nathan in, after I told Principal Wells that he drugged Kate. He might still be alive and maybe he would've taken down Jefferson too...Now I'm glad I blamed Jefferson for Kate, so at least there's a paper trail for his actions. If only I had David Madsen's info. And to think that I felt guilty about narcing on Jefferson...Now I feel terrible that I blamed David for harassing Kate.... especially since he was after Jefferson all along. We could have been working together if David wasn't so paranoid.
I can't believe I was able to fucus and rewind into my selfie all the way back to art class on Monday. I turned in my photo for the contest, after I sent a text to David warning him about Jefferson. Whew. The only reason I haven't had a total meltdown is the fact that I do have this incredible power. I have to use it right for once... and maybe never again.
It was weird to be in class with Jefferson, like I wasn't just tortured by him in an underground bunker. I saw him for the first time as he is: a creepy, manipulative psychopath, filled with bullshit. He uses art and passion to seduce people, but behind that there's nothing but hate and perversion. I only pray that I can fix this timeline, not fuck it up.